Sunday, June 18, 2006

The Imaginary Museum of Atlantis


[poster design by James Fryer]

It's two days now since that strange booklaunch in the English Department common-room at Auckland University. I've always thought it a pretty odd space, even before the carpets were all dyed slaughterhouse purple. Once we'd turned off all the lights and arranged little lamps around the window-ledges, though, it turned into a kind of Orphic cavern: the temple of the mysteries.

I think there had been a film preview in there before we arrived, so there was still a huge white screen in the middle of the floor. We didn't dare to try and take it down without instructions, so it stayed there behind the podium with the speakers projected onto it, like the chained-up captives in Plato's parable of the cave.
Michele Leggott had kindly agreed to introduce the speakers, and did so valiantly despite having hardly enough light to make out her notes.

Scott Hamilton went first. He's already given a spirited account on is own blog of the talk he gave introducing Bill Direen's J. G. Ballardesque novel / Apocalyptic text Song of the Brakeman. Brett Cross of Titus Books (the publisher of both novels), comments about the reading Olwyn Stewart then went on to give from it, that "it got quite surreal and trancelike there for a while, with hazy music in the background, the low lights, and words tumbling over the top ... I don't think I'll ever get those nodules of Tyrian purple nosing out of thinning fur out of my mind ..."

Then came Gabriel White, introducing my book The Imaginary Museum of Atlantis. "Jack has a cold front," he said. "Jack puts his worst foot forward." He went on to compare me to Plato -- or Plato's more subversive side, at any rate. He sure got a laugh at that! I despair of doing justice to all the extravagant stuff Gabriel had to say -- it was a pretty goddamned impressive performance, though, I reckon (though I say it that shouldn't). For a video-clip of part of Gabriel's speech, click here.

The wine flowed freely and bread & cheese went down by bucketloads. Strange shapes loomed up in the semi-darkness, insisting on sharing their own views on Atlantis. "Perhaps some of their descendants are here in this room," speculated one poet. "Perhaps we're all Atlanteans," I riposted.

Andrew McCully's mood music was the other unique feature of the evening. He played on heroically as evening turned into night and the stars and citylights came on. He was still playing when I left. I hope he and all those others got safely home.

If you didn't manage to get there, I'm afraid that you missed an experience. Both books are now on sale, though, and can be ordered from the Titus website. I'll finish with some of the plaudits my own book has earned already:

· The Imaginary Museum of Atlantis. ISBN 0-9582586-8-6. Auckland: Titus Books, 2006. RRP $NZ 27.95

"… after having read some of the contents, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be printed …"
– Marian Reeves, Massey Printery

"… rather rude …"
– Bronwyn Lloyd

"… women don’t always respond well to girl-girl erotica written by a bloke."
– Martin Edmond

I think that says it all, really. You owe it to yourself to check this novel out.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

The Auckland Game





This is my own idiosyncratic map of the place where I live.

It's a grotesque distortion of the three-dimensional Auckland of the mapbooks.

It occurred to me one day that it would be interesting to try and create a kind of subway map of the events, places and people most significant to me.

If you consent to play the game, I imagine you might be inspired to create your own private dreamscape of the place you live inside your head.

The rules are here.

Start out on the place board, then move onto time.

gameboard (place)




0 - 8.00 am START
Throw the dice. Move ahead that many spaces. Read the square.

1 - 8.30 am ALBANY VILLAGE
Start up your car. Keep driving till you get to Coromandel.

2 - 9.00 am MASSEY CAMPUS
Turn on the computer. Search until you find your double’s name.

3 - 6.00 pm UPPER HARBOUR HIGHWAY
Jump ahead to Car Accident!

4 - 10.00 am FERRY RIDE
Buy a ticket and set sail for Rangitoto.

5 - 9.30 am MAIRANGI BAY
Leave the house too late and Miss the Bus!

6 - 11.00 am SUNNYNOOK
Go to the movies. Nothing on. Crawl back to Massey campus.

7 - 4.30 pm CASTOR BAY
Get off the bus. Walk back to Mairangi Bay.

8 - 10.30 am FORREST HILL
Stall the car at the traffic lights. Drive across to Birkenhead.

9 - 12.30 pm MISS THE BUS
Return to Start. Throw the dice again.

10 - 5.00 pm RANGITOTO
Rough on the harbour. Stop for breath halfway up the hill.

11 - 4.00 pm BIRKENHEAD
This is where it all stops. Miss a turn as you kill time.

12 - 2.00 pm DEVONPORT
Cruise the bookshops until it’s time for your Ferry Ride!

13 - 2.30 pm PONSONBY
Time for a coffee as you wait for friends (they’re late).

14 - 3.00 pm WALK IN THE PARK
From Grafton Cemetery through the Domain to Newmarket.

15 - 6.30 pm EDEN CRESCENT
Get off the bus in Albert St. Cross over into Shortland St.

16 - 1.00 pm HIGH ST
Lunch with an old friend yattering on & on about her kids.

17 - 3.30 pm K RD
Buy some shirts (or have them bought for you).

18 - 1.30 am GRAFTON
Take a leisurely Walk in the Park!

19 5.30 pm CAR ACCIDENT
Miss a turn. Get a lift from the cops back to Mairangi Bay.

20 - 12.00 noon GREY LYNN
Help a friend move house (for the umpteenth time).

21 - 1.30 pm NEWMARKET
Do some shopping – see what’s on at the movies.

22 - 7.00 pm WESTERN SPRINGS
Party in the house with the book-shaped letterbox.

23 - 7.30 pm COROMANDEL
End of the Road. Throw the dice to move back through TIME .

24 - 8.00 pm STOP
Shift over to the TIME gameboard.